KTB

Somehow the show [Project Runway] still works. And it works despite the unpersonality of supermodel Heidi Klum, whose delivery is flatter than Kate Moss' chest. Good looks can only go so far -- which is why they never give Vanna White a big speaking part.

But it's not about the host -- despite her big name. What makes "Project Runway" a winner is the contestants themselves. They have just the right mix of humility, arrogance, talent, lack of it, need, greed, drive and creativity to make their quests riveting.

Linda Stasi, the TV Critic from the New York Post, gives Project Runway three stars in her review in today's Post. After bad-mouthing the show's host, Heidi Klum, Stasi goes on to praise the designers and the concept behind the show. Project Runway debuts Wednesday night at 10pm on Bravo (that's channel 36 in NYC). Set your TiVo's now.

Also mentioned in today's post is a Project Runway blurb from Page Six regarding tonight's pre-party at PM:

THE arrival of Heidi Klum tonight at P.M. to launch Bravo channel's "Project Runway" is as tightly choreographed as the D-day landing at Omaha Beach. According to a secret timetable obtained by PAGE SIX, the punctual Prussian will alight on the red carpet between 7:15 and 7:18 p.m.

Holy Cheech & Chong. With all the news on medical marijuana lately (see here), we completely overlooked the most obvious of the obvious - Amigula Inc. What the hell is Amigula Inc you're thinking? Well it's only the world's first publicly traded medical marijuana company. Based out of Toronto, Canada (you know Canada - the biggest state in the U.S.), this company is at the forefront of supplying good weed and lobbying for medical marijuana legislation.

Did we mention that Amigula is also publicly traded? It's shares are listed on the Nasdaq Pinksheets under the symbol AMJL.PK. And in yesterday's trading, Amigula's shares jumped from a paltry 0.12 a share to an astounding intra-day high of 0.35 a share and closed off trading at 0.26 per share. Volume was quite substantial too. KTB has been closely tracking this stock for a while now. We first wrote about this stock in April, 2004 with some random coverage scattered throughout the year. Go weed!

For more on Amigula, visit their website and make sure you visit the Products section. It will put a big, happy smile on your mug.

Page Six asks and Gawker answers. Today's dizzying tizzy of a blind item via Page Six asks:

WHICH aging action hero is snorting more lines than he's spouting on-screen? The horny Hollywood he-man must need the disco dust to stay up and chase the much-younger beauties he likes to collect at nightclubs in L.A. and New York.

You said: Bruce Willis, overwhelmingly so. One compelling argument read, "Hey, anyone who hangs out at Bungalow 8 as much as Bruce (myself included!), is indulging in Vitamin C."
You also said: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Sylvester Stallone, Steven Seagal, Harrison Ford, Wesley Snipes.

This blase Monday morning starts off with a gentle craigslist post. When the subject line reads "To My Cunt of a Roommate", you know there's something good coming.

Flatulence and Brazilian chicks. What can be better? As it turns out - ALOT. Be warned, this is NOT SAFE FOR WORK unless you work with us that is. Our colleagues drink and snort more than most people. Some also have a thing for young boys but that's besides the point. If you're not easily offended, then check out this link.

Our favorite stock of 2004 - Apple (NASD: AAPL) - is back in the news this morning. Apple's estimates and targets were raised by not 2 but 3 different investment banks. Merrill Lynch, Bank of America and UBS all upgraded Apple with price targets ranging from $77 to $78 per share. This is on top of last week's upgrade by Piper Jaffray to $100 a share. Apple is currently up 3.55 at 68.10 in pre-market trading.

And for all you Sirius Satellite radio-philes, here's a little loving: While downgrading Sirius stock (NASD: SIRI) to a Market Perform from Outperform, investment bank Friedman Billings Ramsey (FBR) simultaneously upgraded SIRI's price target to a whopping $7 per share. SIRI is currently trading up 0.22 at 6.73 in pre-market trading. We don't have Sirius in our cars or home here but we do regret not going to Union Square last week for the Howard Stern/Sirius boom-box giveaway.

The KTB household in upstate NY deviated from days of yore for this past Thanksgiving celebration. For one, this was the first Thanksgiving I can remember when it was just the family at the KTB fortress. No birds. No hobbits. No fights either. Just the family and all its arrested development.

Instead of the usual - shots of vodka till you can't see anymore - the drink of choice for this past celebration was Norwegian Aquavit. The brand escapes me. Perhaps that's a side effect but the drunkeness does not. Two days later and I'm still not sober enough to turn the TV on. How the hell did Aquavit end up on our table? That's a question that I've been asking myself since Friday morning. We're not Swedish nor are we Norwegian by any means. In fact, the only Scandinavian blood running through our veins is solely due to multiple jaunts to New York's best hidden little Swedish restaurant (located in Chinatown of all places...). Other than that, we're mostly Russian by birth and American by upbringing. Or whatever the hell that means.

In any event, it was nice to get through turkey day without any major debacles. Ever since Xmas last year, my parents have been loath to hold any gatherings at their home. You can't blame them either considering last year's Xmas party ended with 2 broken noses, 3 black eyes, one hanging lip and a severely dented rice pan. But that's all forgotten now. The turkey was eaten. The aquavit was devoured. No one was punched in the jaw and the dog didn't bark much either. That's a win.

Union Square in the evening after having single-handedly downed a pitcher of red sangria at Pipa. This is what the Park looks like.

The holiday merchants set up their shops

Home of the soon to be Union Square Whole Foods

Well the Virgin toast finally sold. Final price? 28 fucking G's. That's denominated in U.S. $$$. Don't worry, we're thinking the same thing you are - there's a Jesus doody floating in our toilet as we type. Time to get a camera, some latex gloves and an eBay account.

[via Baritone News Network]

Update: BBC World News just covered this joke on their nightly news show. What is this world coming to?

Catch our favorite music blogger and obsessed Britney Spears fan, stereogum spin his iPod against the mysterious fluxblog. Festivities get underway at 10PM at APT located in the beak-packing district on 419 West 13th Street. APT is offering $4 "Boris ale bottles" and $5 infamous APT rum punch. We're not sure what "Boris ale bottles" are but anything with the name Boris in it is a treat for us.

When your friends consist of vile, disgusting mongrels, these are the kinds of photos you can expect when asking "How was your trip to Hawaii?"

Click the photo below for a full enlargement if you want. My friends should all be euthanized.

Bravo has finally updated it's Project Runway website so as to include a "Meet the Designers" section. Yipppeeee.

There's also a quick Q&A page for each designer. The designer pictured up above (aka The Player) is asked a couple of interesting questions

What is an odd fact or talent you possess?
I pee sitting down in the morning.

There's also a video interview up for each designer. It's a pretty funny segment for the designer above. Overall, we approve.

Set your Tivo's/DVR's now. Next Wednesday. 10PM. Bravo - that's channel 36 for all us Time Warner geeks in NYC.

Our most favorite stock, Apple (NASD:AAPL) received startlingly good news this morning.

For one, Apple was upgraded and given a $65 price target by the kind gents at Fulcrum. We say yaaaaaaaay.

Not to be outdone though, the wonderful, enthusiastic and loving gents at Piper Jaffray upgraded Apple as well and attached a $100 price target on our most favoritest stock. We say Holy Fucking Shnikey CockBitch Fuck Sick Shit Yaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!

KTB has been in puppy love with Apple for a while now. We've been raving about it at $25, at $38 and at $43. It is now trading at $62.10 up 7.02 points today alone.

The infamous Chester of the band Chesterwhite at Cutting Room

I'm crushing Project Runway's head

Spring St. Lounge

Trailer Park Bar

Cutting Room

Cutting Room

Spring St. Lounge

WARNING: Missing retarded seen running around NoLiTa

My poor liver needs a break.

We've seen some crazy shit over here, but this eBay auction takes the fucking cake.

Here's a creative new way to get your daily dose of news - 10 x 10.

[via Baritone News Network]

The Post's Page Six gossip section goes all out with their insinuating blind items today:

WHICH megastar rapper has been cheating on his superstar songstress girlfriend with the sultry hostess of a popular hip-hop TV show? . . . AT which Manhattan restaurant/lounge were the bathroom stalls full of coke-sniffing models one recent night? Meanwhile, a man who just got an annulment from a prominent socialite was receiving oral sex under the table.

As for the 2nd blind item, we all know KTB's stance on dirt and dirt related activities. Therefore, the real question is where the fuck was Team KTB at this model ski-trip? We love models. We love dirt. What's the problem?

During a street fair on University Place, a vendor was selling these stick figures. For some reason, they remind me of the childhood game hangman.

With the holidays fast approaching and the shopping season kicking into gear, may we be bold and make a suggestion: If one of our 6 daily readers is feeling like getting us a gift, THIS would be perfect.
[via gawker]

Update: Since it was too good to stay on Craigslist, the kind folks at Gawker were enterprising enough to copy and save the post. This is what our ideal gift was: "Stop scratching the hell out of all of your CDs with your metrocard. This beautiful coke table has a really cool blue mirror top that stays nice and shiny no matter how many grams upon grams you cut up. Do your drugs in style."

Stereogum points us to the The Grey Video - DJ Danger Mouse's awesome video mash up of the Beatles and Jay Z.

Are you ready for some Project Runway? For starters, bravotv.com finally has a video sneak peek into the show. It's mostly focused on Heidi and her ruminations but there is a brief glimpse of the field of contestants. Click here to see the video.

Bravo's website also has a brief description of the what's coming in the 1st episode

In the series premiere, our designers are forced work with some very unusual materials...

See the whole Project Runway website over at bravotv.com. The series premiere is Wednesday December 1st.

If you're wondering why we're obsessing over this decadent show before it even premieres, don't you worry. Mind your P's and Q's "chirren" (as Chef says on S. Park) and all will be very clear soon....

Make sure your speakers are turned on and don't worry, it's actually work safe.

R. Kelly

[via gothamist]

Hail a cab. Get in. Running a little late but that's ok. iPod out of the pocket and ear buds on. Settings --> Shuffle --> On. Browse --> Artists --> All --> Play.

....

Play it now
Play it now, my baby

Cracklin' rosie, make me a smile
Girl if it lasts for an hour, that's al right
We got all night
To set the world right
Find us a dream that don't ask no questions, yeah...

So far, in this two week old NBA season, the top 10 players according to Yahoo fantasy player ratings are

1 Dirk Nowitzki (Dal - FC,PF)
2 Lebron James (Cle - PG,SF)
3 Ray Allen (Sea - SG)
4 Kobe Bryant (LAL - SG)
5 Manu Ginobili (SA - SG)
6 Rafer Alston (Tor - PG)
7 Jason Terry (Dal - PG)
8 Brad Miller (Sac - C,FC)
9 Andrei Kirilenko (Uta - F,PF)
10 Rashard Lewis (Sea - SF)

Obviously, many of these players will not keep this pace over the course of the season (Terry, Alston, Ginobilli) but it will be interesting to see how sophomore Lebron James finishes up. As of now, we'd rate him the best player in the NBA.

"You work for us," Zachary likes to let Harry know. Zachary represents a two-year-old hedge fund called Pirate Capital, a name that Zachary says gets the people's attention. (And if that doesn't, then the 32 percent returns per year do.) For $20 million, Pirate purchased 13 percent of Harry's company, which runs prisons. This makes Pirate Harry's largest shareholder and, as Zachary sees it, Harry's boss.

My dear listless scribe. You can't pretend to cover the so called New Wall Street and completely disregard the follies of old Wall Street. Where are the gaggers on the trading floor? They're right underneath the keyboard. A little golf ball filled to the brim with Bolivian marching powder. Where are the trips on your bosses G4 to Atlantis? While the wife is at home, feeding the kids and getting another boob job, the boss flies his posse of trading mendicants on his private Gulfstream stocked with gaggers and a bevvy of expensive beauties.

Fiction? We know otherwise. Yet not once did the NY Mag article mention the real perks of being a big swinging dick. The times they are a gloomy over at NY Mag.

Four people were stabbed at Spa Plaid, the neighborhood cesspool. KTB is under the impression that the Lincoln Tunnel has a secret exit ramp leading directly to Plaid's door. Where do these folk come from?
[via Daily News]

The Learning Annex is offering classes for the next Kimora Lee. Find that sugar daddy correctly and effectively. Why the hell don't they have a class that hetero men can attend?
[via Gawker]

Just when you thought that lefties, especially the ones off the far end, were a bunch of peacenik, hippie, wife-swapping dogooders, comes this letter from the The Stranger, Seattle's alternative newspaper:

DEAR OSAMA BIN LADEN

I'm sorry. You were right. We deserve to be blown up.

After last Tuesday, well... what can I say? You had us pegged dead-on the first time--although I was in denial and refused to believe it up until now. We as a nation obviously ARE a bunch of mindless sheep, grown fat with consumerism and easily led down the primrose path into corruption. After what happened November 2, there's just no denying it anymore. I'm ashamed that I was so blind for so long.

After 60 percent of eligible voters turned out and 51 percent of those voted for Bush, I can't do anything but concede your point: There are no innocents left in America. We've brought this on ourselves. Go ahead and do your worst. We've got it coming--in a big way. All I ask is this: Give New York a break, okay? And leave New England, California, and the rest of the West Coast out of it as well. We're on your side already! Please, stay focused and plan your next attack against the real enemy: those "red states" in the middle of the map. Fly a Cessna into the stands of a NASCAR rally. Put a suicide bomber on the Arch in St. Louis. Drive a truck-bomb into the Grand Ole Opry. Release anthrax at an Astros game. It's all good! They've got it coming. I'm just sorry it took me so long to figure out how very right you were. Can you ever forgive me?

--Anonymous

Would anyone really be surprised to find "Americans" such as these fighting alongside the insurgents in Iraq? I wouldn't be. Idiots!

[via The Forest For The Trees]

Well, the damned Jets blew another game they should have easily won. Their offense blossomed in the first half only to whither in the second. It was a painful game to watch and an unbearable loss to absorb. We're quite pissed about it actually.

We'd like to believe that three factors contributed to the Jets loss:

1. Lamont Jordan's interception in the second quarter seemed to have taken all the life out of the Jets. On a seemingly well planned flea flicker play, Lamont Jordan, instead of tossing the ball away, threw the pigskin into a sea of opposing Ravens jersies. It was pathetic and if we didn't know any better, we'd have to say Lamont may have taken a few hits from the glass dick prior to this play. But that's just the way we think here. Before this ill conceived pass, the Jets played as a strong, focused and cohesive unit. Afterwards, the Jets played like a group out of Jawonio.

2. What ultimately destroyed the Jets was the horrible and wasteful and ridiculous clock management skills we attribute to Herman Edwards, Paul Hackett and Quincy Carter. With 3rd and goal, 8 seconds remaining in regulation, the clock not ticking, and one time out left, the Jets chose to call a fucking time out because their play clock was about to expire!!!!! Imagine this. Just try for a woe begotten second to imagine shit like this happening on a professional football team in the NFL. We can see this going down in a game between "my street verse your street" but not in the NFL. These are paid professionals and they're paid to win. Not to fucking tie a game! And so what if the play clock expires??? It's third-fucking-down and goal. You can still get one more play off and try to WIN the game. Your job is not to kick a fucking field goal on third fucking down!!! We have to step back here because we're hyper-ventilating. One second please....

Ok, much better. In any event, it's hard to pin the blame on this debacle solely on Quincy Carter. It was his first game of the season and he may have been flustered or not. But head coach Herman Edwards and offensive coordinator Paul Hackett - what is their excuses in this monstrous failure? KTB wants heads to roll and we want it now. This loss was UNEXCUSABLE.

3. And finally, the last reason to which we attribute the Jets loss - Black Cloud. This p.o.s., even while in LA, still managed to tune into the game and his aura of bad luck brought this outcome upon our team. Oh woe is the Black Cloud.

Somewhere, across the street from the best sushi in town, grows a tree on Thompson Street. And as the throngs wait in line, the tree laughs and pales.

Could this be related to this? We think so indeed.

I'll have alot more pix up in the next few days. Foremost though, I just wanted to say how disheartening it is that some of my favorite NYC news blogs - blogs I read every day of the week; blogs that can readily be found on KTB's blogroll - gave ZERO coverage to this sacred American day. Not a declaration or a mention was anywhere in sight. Forget posting a pic from the parade. There wasn't even an attempt made to thank just one of America's heros.

It's sad that if there's a protest or protesters are getting arrested, these same blogs are reporting the minutiae of said events. But on a day like today, we saw nothing from them. Not one thing. Sad isn't it?

With that being said, here are some pix from today's parade down 5th Avenue. There'll be more up soon. Enjoy.

Update: More pix are up. You can see them by clicking the link below. There are about 60 total pix so please be ready to wait a few moments before the page loads in full.

blehhhhh - photo op

Rub and tugs. Happy endings. Release (pronounced rerease). Massage with special. They all mean the same thing. And we all know (some of us much too well) what this special service is. These guys found out the hard way (no pun intended) why Chinatown massage parlors at 3 AM may not be the place to be

holyshitdude (8:48:19 AM): I keep hearing rumors of an amazing story dude
luvthetug (8:48:26 AM): yeah
luvthetug (8:48:31 AM): i didn't feel like telling it yesterday
luvthetug (8:48:34 AM): was sleeping all day
holyshitdude (8:48:38 AM): ah ha
holyshitdude (8:49:39 AM): well i was attempting to get it from you
luvthetug (8:49:48 AM): i will give it to you today
luvthetug (8:49:52 AM): do you know any of it?
holyshitdude (8:49:56 AM): or i will take it by force
holyshitdude (8:50:05 AM): no one will tell me...
holyshitdude (8:50:10 AM): you have to hear it from name withheld1
luvthetug (8:51:09 AM): ok
luvthetug (8:51:33 AM): well name withheld1 and name withheld2 came in to the city friday night, we played poker till about 11:30-midnight
holyshitdude (8:51:56 AM): okay
luvthetug (8:51:59 AM): we agreed we wanted to go to flashdancers
luvthetug (8:52:04 AM): so we did, till about 2:00 am
luvthetug (8:52:32 AM): then name withheld1 talks me into doing something that i have told many people i don't particularly like doing -- rub and tug

holyshitdude (8:52:51 AM): NICE
luvthetug (8:53:39 AM): so i recommend a couple of classy ones i know of
luvthetug (8:53:55 AM): he says no no, let's go to this one i go to, it's cheaper and it's just as nice
holyshitdude (8:53:59 AM): of course....just tring to help out
luvthetug (8:54:07 AM): it is on Canal and B'way -- chinatown
luvthetug (8:54:37 AM): so we go in
luvthetug (8:54:41 AM): pretty legit
luvthetug (8:54:52 AM): we get our lockers, i take a steam then head into a room
luvthetug (8:55:19 AM): i'm in there with the girl for about 15 mins when i hear a little commotion outside, people talking in chinese
luvthetug (8:55:37 AM): then some guy opens my door and tells me to sit up, i am thinking it's the cops
luvthetug (8:55:44 AM): i look at the guy -- chinese guy with an uzi
holyshitdude (8:55:48 AM): HOLY SHIT
luvthetug (8:55:50 AM): let that sink in for a minute
holyshitdude (8:55:52 AM): HOLLLLLLY SHIT
holyshitdude (8:55:58 AM): MY GOD
luvthetug (8:56:05 AM): so i am like what the fuck is this
holyshitdude (8:56:14 AM): i just broke out into a sweat
luvthetug (8:56:15 AM): he goes where is your wallet
luvthetug (8:56:20 AM): i said who the fuck are you
luvthetug (8:56:23 AM): he says police
holyshitdude (8:56:26 AM): dude
holyshitdude (8:56:32 AM): dude
luvthetug (8:56:42 AM): i said bullshit you are not the police, he is like good guess, roll over
luvthetug (8:57:02 AM): lay on my stomach, he puts one of those plastic zip ties around my wrists and leaves the room with the girl
luvthetug (8:57:20 AM): same thing goes on in most of the rooms
luvthetug (8:57:51 AM): i break out of the tie right away and just leave my hands folded behind my back in case they come back in and want to do something
luvthetug (8:57:57 AM): oh
holyshitdude (8:58:03 AM): dear God
luvthetug (8:58:12 AM): before i would give him my hands he sticks the uzi in my ear and is like give me your fuckin hands
luvthetug (8:58:20 AM): i was like fuck that that is not even a real gun
luvthetug (8:58:28 AM): he is like try me
luvthetug (8:58:31 AM): so anyway
holyshitdude (8:58:34 AM): did you sober up immediately
luvthetug (8:58:37 AM): yeah
luvthetug (8:58:40 AM): and i was PISSED
luvthetug (8:58:44 AM): honestly, not scared at all
luvthetug (8:58:47 AM): just PISSED OFF
luvthetug (8:59:04 AM): because a) i am getting jacked by some chinks with plastic uzis
luvthetug (8:59:18 AM): b) i didn't even want to come to this place in the first place
holyshitdude (8:59:42 AM): did name withheld2 mess himself?
luvthetug (8:59:47 AM): so anyway i lay there for like 15 mins, guys keep opening the door to check on me
luvthetug (8:59:56 AM): finally 15-20 mins later it quiets down, the guys are gone
luvthetug (9:00:08 AM): i get up and start storming through the place to find name withheld1 and name withheld2
luvthetug (9:00:24 AM): there are naked dudes tied up laying on the floor throughout the place
luvthetug (9:00:30 AM): all the girls tied up in the lobby crying
luvthetug (9:00:59 AM): there is this one chinese dude laying in prone position in the hallway with a towel over his head, i rip the towel off, he is crying i'm like stop being such a pussy, where are my friends
luvthetug (9:01:06 AM): the owner is walking around "in shock"
luvthetug (9:01:13 AM): i am like fuck you this was an inside job
luvthetug (9:01:25 AM): i am opening every room people are just laying there like aholes
luvthetug (9:01:43 AM): finally i go up toi this one room and as i walk up, name withheld2 walks out with this chick
luvthetug (9:01:57 AM): i smack him across the face and i am like i fucking told you i don't like these places
luvthetug (9:02:13 AM): him and name withheld1 were in rooms that were not on the main hallway
luvthetug (9:02:18 AM): these guys did not even come into their roomms
luvthetug (9:02:31 AM): and for some reason they both had their wallets with them instead if leaving them in the locker
luvthetug (9:03:03 AM): so i go over to the lockers and everyone clothes are everywhere
holyshitdude (9:03:04 AM): what did they say...when people were laying alll around
luvthetug (9:03:24 AM): they are like what the hell just happened? the girl in my room kept saying they want money be quiet and lock the door
luvthetug (9:03:34 AM): that is what name withheld2 and name withheld1 said
luvthetug (9:03:48 AM): anyway i go to the lockers, guys are looking for all their clothes
luvthetug (9:03:56 AM): i'm cursing out the owner, trying to rip doors off the lockers
luvthetug (9:04:18 AM): i find all my clothes and my keys, however don't have my phone, wallet, money clip or watch
luvthetug (9:04:24 AM): some big dude that was there is real pissed too
holyshitdude (9:04:32 AM): OH man
luvthetug (9:04:32 AM): he shatters the front door by kicking it a couple times
luvthetug (9:04:40 AM): i curse everyone out, try to break shit then we leave
luvthetug (9:05:03 AM): name withheld1 and name withheld2 both had their wallets, name withheld1 lost his phone but name withheld2 had his phone at my apartment
luvthetug (9:05:24 AM): so we went back there, i cancelled all my shit, name withheld1 went home and me and name withheld2 went to that late night bar you and me went to till about 7 am
luvthetug (9:05:31 AM): fun times
luvthetug (9:05:39 AM): bought my 5th phone in 10 months on saturday
luvthetug (9:05:46 AM): NOT a sidekick
holyshitdude (9:06:05 AM): your watch
holyshitdude (9:06:07 AM): man
holyshitdude (9:06:15 AM): and you could have been killed
luvthetug (9:06:18 AM): ehhh
luvthetug (9:06:24 AM): i am convinced they were fake guns
luvthetug (9:06:34 AM): could hear from the sound of them
luvthetug (9:06:40 AM): sounded like toys r us specials
holyshitdude (9:06:42 AM): that is not neccesarrily a thesis that you want to prove
luvthetug (9:06:44 AM): no
luvthetug (9:06:46 AM): but still
holyshitdude (9:07:49 AM): well....i thought you met a famous person
holyshitdude (9:07:52 AM): won some more money
holyshitdude (9:08:07 AM): pee'd on someone's couch
holyshitdude (9:08:43 AM): not something like this
luvthetug (9:09:11 AM): nah
luvthetug (9:09:14 AM): none of the above
holyshitdude (9:11:18 AM): well man you continue to be the luckiest person i know
luvthetug (9:11:18 AM): only you kinda night
holyshitdude (9:11:33 AM): they would have shot and killed me
holyshitdude (9:12:24 AM): i just cannot believe it
luvthetug (9:12:36 AM): belee dat homeboy
holyshitdude (9:13:42 AM): I would not have slept had you told me this yesterday
luvthetug (9:13:58 AM): lol
luvthetug (9:14:16 AM): suffice it to say i don't want to go to am massage parlor
luvthetug (9:14:17 AM): ever

Fuck, we didn't even know it was Veteran's Day today till we got to work and noticed all the police barricades running the length of 5th Ave north and south. What can we say? We're a shameful excuse for a patriotic American.

Since we're about as eloquent as a dog in heat, we'll allow somebody else to summarize what today means to America. The following is an essay titled What is a Vet penned by Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, USMC

Some veterans bear visible signs of their service: a missing limb, a
jagged scar, a certain look in the eye. Others may carry the evidence
inside them: a pin holding a bone together, a piece of shrapnel in the
leg - or perhaps another sort of inner steel: the soul's ally forged
in the refinery of adversity. Except in parades, however, the men and
women who have kept America safe wear no badge or emblem. You can't
tell a vet just by looking.

What is a vet?

He is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia
sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carriers
didn't run out of fuel.

He is the barroom loudmouth, dumber than five wooden planks, whose
overgrown frat-boy behavior is outweighed a hundred times in the
cosmic scales by four hours of exquisite bravery near the 38th
parallel.

She or he-is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep
sobbing every night for two solid years in Da Nang.

He is the POW who went away one person and came back another-or didn't
come back AT ALL.

He is the Quantico drill instructor who has never seen combat-but has
saved countless lives by turning slouchy, no-account rednecks and gang
members into Marines, and teaching them to watch each other's backs.

He is the parade-riding Legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals
with a prosthetic hand.

He is the career quartermaster who watches the ribbons and medals pass
him by.

He is the three anonymous heroes in The Tomb Of The Unknowns, whose
presence at the Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the
memory of all the anonymous heroes whose valor dies unrecognized with
them on the battlefield or in the ocean's sunless deep.

He is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket-palsied now and
aggravatingly slow-who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who
wishes all day long that his wife were still alive to hold him when
the nightmares come.

He is an ordinary and yet an extraordinary human being-a person who
offered some of his life's most vital years in the service of his
country, and who sacrificed his ambitions so others would not have to
sacrifice theirs.

He is a soldier and a savior and a sword against the darkness, and he
is nothing more than the finest, greatest testimony on behalf of the
finest, greatest nation ever known.

So remember, each time you see someone who has served our country,
just lean over and say Thank You. That's all most people need, and in
most cases it will mean more than any medals they could have been
awarded or were awarded.

Two little words that mean a lot, "THANK YOU."

Remember November 11th is Veterans Day.

"It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the
press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of
speech. It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who has given us
the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier, who salutes the flag,
who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag,
who allows the protester to burn the flag."

AFI Film Festival kicks off today in Los Angeles, CA. Our favorite movie Blackballed - The Bobby Dukes Story will be screening tonight at 10PM and Saturday, Nov. 13th at 4PM LA time.

We wish Bobby Dukes great success in LA. Hopefully they'll sell this motherfucking movie already and we'll all get paid. Hookers and coke guys. Hookers and coke!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

I would try to write something witty here. But that's not going to happen today. Last nite was the Muse show over at Webster Hall. Today has been nothing less than an attack of savage, machete wielding, hangover inducing infidel cannibals.

These pix were taken during an afternoon off a few days ago. East 14th Street still maintains some of its authenticity of days gone by. It actually reminds me of that scene in the movie Warriors where the guys on the run meet up with the all female gang (The Lizzies) only to be sabotaged by the dangerous and resentful female posse. In fact, I think that scene was filmed in an old building on 14th between 3rd and 2nd Ave but I could be wrong.

This authenticity has completely vanished from the 14th Street of Union Sq. There are bodegas, an old Jewish appliance store (Blum & Krup), as well as ethnic eateries and a variety of down and out bars (love 'em!!). Too bad they won't be seeing much of me for a while though. The wagon beckons. I may have to go for a ride on it...

MUSE!!!!!

They're playing tonight at Webster Hall on east 11th street between 3rd and 4th avenues. We're so there.

This morning, it was a surly 35 degrees Fahrenheit when we woke to walk the dog. Cold weather is finally here and none too soon. You may be thinking why does this fool pray for cold weather? What's wrong with this mongrel?

Simply put, cold weather means one and one thing only for the likes of KTB - no crackheads in Union Square Park. Cold weather keeps the following away from the Park where we walk our dog at that ungodly hour of the morning:

1. No Bums. Hallelujah. Especially this bum. Lord we dislike this wreck of a man. This guy has so much energy to spur and shout at the government and its vast conspiracies. The government, according to him, is obviously the cause of his pathetic condition and keeps him homeless, enslaved and umemployed. Or so he says. KTB often ponders what would happen if this leach's energies were directed at something a little more thoughtful - like driving a cab. This guy, with all his untapped and unseen positive energy, could be the Donald Trump of cab drivers but he chooses to sleep near the 4,5, and 6 train entrance at the southwest corner of the Park. Thank goodness it's cold.

2. No goth kids. During the summer, one can be up and about at an ungodly 6AM hour to discover the Park populated and littered with non-conformist, life sucking, vampire breeding goth kids. They're so righteous and entertaining. They're never a nuisance a la the bums but they're out in vast numbers when the weather is warm. Don't goth kids have parents or do they all come from test tubes. KTB wonders. Thank goodness it's cold.

3. No gangsta rappers/breakdancers. Yes, even at 6AM, the black, white and blatino breakers are there in full force. Beat box a slamming. Microphone a booming. No kidding. KTB likes to shake his ass but not at 6AM with dog in tow. Thank goodness it's cold.

4. No protesters. Ahhhhhh. Now this is the real forte of cold weather. Protesters. Angry, predominantly white, angry, and likely jobless protesters. They equate Bush with Hitler. They call for a secession. They shout lovely epithets like "No Bush! No Kerry! A Revolution is Necessary!" All while their iPods are safely tucked in the breach of their Paper Denim jeans. They must really be onto something because when KTB buys Paper Denim jeans, he's usually charged in the area of $160+. KTB is not bragging. Crying is more like it. But these protesters must know something we don't since they're all crying out for the poor and enslaved all while their mass market goodies are neatly displayed in a selfless and material-less manner. KTB is dying to know the secret of their immaterial ways. We need inexpensive iPods too. A revolution is seriously necessary. Thank goodness it's cold.

Looks like it's only going to get worse in Europe. A bomb was set off at a Muslim school in the Netherlands. Nobody was hurt but tensions and fear are mounting on both sides of this contentious situation.

This looks like a follow up to the slaughter of Dutch filmmaker, Theo Van Gogh, by vile Muslim pigs. Too bad Michael Moore hasn't made an anti-Muslim documentary. Just kidding folks. Just kidding. KTB believes in freedom of speech. All speech. Even speech we don't like to hear or agree with. That is the basis of our free society. It will be interesting to see how the Netherlands handles this horrific Islamic quagmire.

Jeff Jarvis, over at BuzzMachine, has some interesting thoughts on the islamofascist infestation of Europe.

The spoils of being a Jets fan. We recommend a bottle of Absinthe and 151 to chase. It's going to be a long, long, cold, cold rest of season.

The Death Stock is back. Pray you're not short. Pray to the Man Jesus. Amen.

Pixar's "The Incredibles" soared to a $70+ million weekend. Yet this morning, we find Deutsche (douche?) Bank downgrading Pixar's stock (NASD:PIXR) to a Sell rating from a previous Hold rating. Pixar closed at 84.45 on Friday and is currently trading down 3.45 at 81.

According to the AP, a stock split is NOT anywhere near in Google's future (NASD:GOOG). Citing Google's deep admiration of Warren Buffett's management style, Google founders Larry and Sergey may choose to never, ever, ever split the stock. Why would they care anyway? Give me a few billion and you'd never hear from me again. It'd be hookers and coke for a long, long time.

A decent enough place to visit. A soul-less place to live.

Perenially comatose. Ungainfully employed. Dilligently dumb. We approve.

Why are her nipples all fucked up? They look like amoeba.

More pix at thatsjustnotright.com
[via gawker]

Update: Amoeba-like nipples are said to be caused by receiving boob upgrade (in this case downgrade) thru the nipple and not thru the belly button. Thanks awfulplasticsurgery.com

The piece of shit Arafat is dead.
UPDATE: Not quite yet. Damn the French!

Consider your lifestyle:

10:10a
I first encounter Sebastian, a dancer, at the craft service table. I ask him how he keeps fit if he's eating donuts. He laughs. I sense a connection....

11:28a
He approaches as I'm eating a carrot. Small talk. He brushes my elbow! It feels electric. I ask Annette to issue a press release hinting there may once again be love on the horizon for me....

1:43p
Our first kiss happens after lunch by the trash can near a generator and an oasis of fake palm trees. Magic! I could look into his eyes forever....

2:50p
During a break I ask Sebastian where he sees himself in ten years. He smiles and says, "Wherever you are." My heart melts. He's the one for me.

3:12p
We make sweet, quick love in the trailer.

This photo is shamelessly taken from Trevor Little's NYC Art Collective website.

Terrorist Deathwatch - almost lights out for Arafat. Perhaps they'll bury him under the Eiffel Tower and rename it Arafat Peace Tower. Party at my place.

Fallujah Attack Begins - let's clean this place up now and for good.

Work From the 60's - Come see vintage street photos taken by acclaimed photographer Joel Meyerowitz on display for the first time.

Knicks Lose Season Opener 99-93 - but Jamal Crawford (22 points, 39min played) and Stephon Marbury (27 points, 10 assists, 38min played) shine in their first outing together. Damn this guy Crawford is fast!! He was beating Twolve defenders off the first step a la vintage Reggie Miller. NY basketball future looks bright.

So it's the day after the election. We know who won. We know who didn't. It almost seems like it happened a far time ago and long place away. Does that make any sense? I don't know.

I do know that I'm so glad it's behind us. I do hope this country comes together and the divisions created by this polarizing election are blown away like bikini tops on a Mediterranean beach. I'm tired of walking thru Union Square and seeing signs equating Bush with Hitler. I'm tired of walking thru Union Square and seeing grown men - men who can be grandfathers - act like children, dancing and prancing whilst chanting slurs at the local Fox News van. Come on people. We are a nation united no? Let's try to make this a better place for all of us.

As for me, I'm watching the Knicks game tonight. Election? What election?

Barack Obama, the future of the Democratic Party, sums up his thoughts in this eloquent, impassioned and bi-partisan speech:

I stand here today, grateful for the diversity of my heritage, aware that my parents' dreams live on in my precious daughters. I stand here knowing that my story is part of the larger American story, that I owe a debt to all of those who came before me, and that, in no other country on earth, is my story even possible. Tonight, we gather to affirm the greatness of our nation, not because of the height of our skyscrapers, or the power of our military, or the size of our economy. Our pride is based on a very simple premise, summed up in a declaration made over two hundred years ago, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal. That they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights. That among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

That is the true genius of America, a faith in the simple dreams of its people, the insistence on small miracles. That we can tuck in our children at night and know they are fed and clothed and safe from harm. That we can say what we think, write what we think, without hearing a sudden knock on the door. That we can have an idea and start our own business without paying a bribe or hiring somebody's son. That we can participate in the political process without fear of retribution, and that our votes will be counted--or at least, most of the time.

This year, in this election, we are called to reaffirm our values and commitments, to hold them against a hard reality and see how we are measuring up, to the legacy of our forbearers, and the promise of future generations. And fellow Americans--Democrats, Republicans, Independents--I say to you tonight: we have more work to do. More to do for the workers I met in Galesburg, Illinois, who are losing their union jobs at the Maytag plant that's moving to Mexico, and now are having to compete with their own children for jobs that pay seven bucks an hour. More to do for the father I met who was losing his job and choking back tears, wondering how he would pay $4,500 a month for the drugs his son needs without the health benefits he counted on. More to do for the young woman in East St. Louis, and thousands more like her, who has the grades, has the drive, has the will, but doesn't have the money to go to college.

Don't get me wrong. The people I meet in small towns and big cities, in diners and office parks, they don't expect government to solve all their problems. They know they have to work hard to get ahead and they want to. Go into the collar counties around Chicago, and people will tell you they don't want their tax money wasted by a welfare agency or the Pentagon. Go into any inner city neighborhood, and folks will tell you that government alone can't teach kids to learn. They know that parents have to parent, that children can't achieve unless we raise their expectations and turn off the television sets and eradicate the slander that says a black youth with a book is acting white. No, people don't expect government to solve all their problems. But they sense, deep in their bones, that with just a change in priorities, we can make sure that every child in America has a decent shot at life, and that the doors of opportunity remain open to all. They know we can do better. And they want that choice [...]

A belief that we are connected as one people. If there's a child on the south side of Chicago who can't read, that matters to me, even if it's not my child. If there's a senior citizen somewhere who can't pay for her prescription and has to choose between medicine and the rent, that makes my life poorer, even if it's not my grandmother. If there's an Arab American family being rounded up without benefit of an attorney or due process, that threatens my civil liberties. It's that fundamental belief--I am my brother's keeper, I am my sisters' keeper--that makes this country work. It's what allows us to pursue our individual dreams, yet still come together as a single American family. "E pluribus unum." Out of many, one.

Yet even as we speak, there are those who are preparing to divide us, the spin masters and negative ad peddlers who embrace the politics of anything goes. Well, I say to them tonight, there's not a liberal America and a conservative America--there's the United States of America. There's not a black America and white America and Latino America and Asian America; there's the United States of America. The pundits like to slice-and-dice our country into Red States and Blue States; Red States for Republicans, Blue States for Democrats. But I've got news for them, too. We worship an awesome God in the Blue States, and we don't like federal agents poking around our libraries in the Red States. We coach Little League in the Blue States and have gay friends in the Red States. There are patriots who opposed the war in Iraq and patriots who supported it. We are one people, all of us pledging allegiance to the stars and stripes, all of us defending the United States of America [...]

In the end, that is God's greatest gift to us, the bedrock of this nation; the belief in things not seen; the belief that there are better days ahead. I believe we can give our middle class relief and provide working families with a road to opportunity. I believe we can provide jobs to the jobless, homes to the homeless, and reclaim young people in cities across America from violence and despair. I believe that as we stand on the crossroads of history, we can make the right choices, and meet the challenges that face us. America!

[via gawker]

[via drudge]

To all my lefty friends: The populace has spoken. See you in 2008.

To all my ultra-left friends: The populace has spoken. Go hug some trees and feed a squirrel.

To all my righty friends: The populace has spoken.

And last but not least Michael Moore: Stick to what you do best - eat up motherfucker. Four more years!

Will this bitch ever go down?

I'm too lazy, tired, stoned, etc to post the full series of pix regarding festivities from Thursday (Pigger, Elizabeth St), Friday (Mini's Halloween Madness, L'Or at 3am), and Saturday (6's and 8's, after hours, pain). My body is a dumpster and it's packed to the brim now. Does anyone know of a good detox program? Preferrably in Arizona or Saskatchewan. I need to get out of here for a long fucking time.

Lord save us all. Allah akhbar.

Black Cloud? Looks like the Black Cloud but something's missing...

Wheeeeeeee!!! Let's go for a ride down Elizabeth Street

6's and 8's pre-Halloween bash

1,000 words

It is safe to say that "The Al Franken Show" on Sundance Channel is better than a castration documentary.
I have watched both and I can honestly say: I'd rather watch castrations over and over instead of the Franken show.

This was my liver. A wonderful piece of Parmigiano-Reggiano.

This was my weekend.

Here stands my liver now.

Sympathy not needed or wanted. Just some cyanide.